I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way women compete with each other.
I honestly think this is what’s at the root of a lot of the comparisons we get sucked into on social media…
and why they affect us so greatly.
We have this tendency to need a ranking…
Where do I stand in comparison to her?
And when we see someone who we perceive to “outrank” us we feel jealous, discontent, and we grow depressed.
It would be nice if we could simply follow people on social media because they inspire us… but I think our motives are often more complex:
I follow influencer A because she is pretty, and I wish I could look like her. I follow influencer B because she has my dream wardrobe, and I wish I had it. And I follow influencer C because her house is gorgeous and I wish my house looked like that… and so on and so on.
I think we all wish our motives for following people were intrinsically pure, but that competitiveness is hard to shake.
And so we begin to feel things like:
I would be happier if I lived in a house like that… I would feel more confident if I had her wardrobe… I would feel less insecure if I looked like her… and suddenly we find ourselves anxious, depressed, and/or in debt.
But what we don’t realize is that everyone’s life looks different behind closed doors.
Maybe that influencer you wished you look like has insecurities that have led her to unhealthy eating habits or insecurity driven enhancements.
Maybe that influencer with the nice house is house poor or crazy in debt… you just don’t know, but I can assure you that everyone has something they’re dealing with.
So while you’re sitting there deciding how you rank against someone, and becoming depressed when you don’t “measure up” you miss the opportunity to look at that person as a real human being.
Instead of feeling the need to compete, maybe we could lead with an invitation to connect.
Let’s acknowledge that we’re all in this together, and that we all have strengths to offer.
Yes, someone may have something you don’t, but I can guarantee you have something she doesn’t.
That thought equalizes doesn’t it?
Instead of scrolling through Instagram and growing disenchanted with our own lives, we can scroll through with the intention of appreciation… not only for what we already have, but for what other people are bringing to the table.
SO… for this most lovely month of October:
I will not compete, I will invite.
Until next time,
What I’m wearing:
jumpsuit: thrifted. Same jumpsuit in different colors.