I talked about this briefly last week, but a couple of weeks ago, I made the decision to quit pumping.
That decision has been a long time coming, and I finally got to a point where I knew it needed to happen. As much as I am thankful that I was able to provide that nutrition for the twins, I also knew that it was one of the greatest stressors in my life.
It gave me such an overwhelming feeling of tiredness, which in turn made me feel emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained.
Motherhood sometimes asks a lot doesn’t it?
It’s the greatest blessing of my life… it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. But it’s also one of the most exacting things I’ve ever done.
Never before have I been needed in such a profound way.
Never before have I been pushed to give so much of myself to another human being.
And that weight of responsibility, while it is exhilarating, can feel too heavy sometimes.
And pumping was that for me. So I made the decision to quit.
Let me tell you, the hormonal shift was brutal… but, now that I’m two weeks out I am feeling so good about my decision!
I have so much more time to just be with the girls and enjoy them. I’m not constantly trying to figure out where I can fit in a pumping session… and when I do have a minute, I’m able to do something relaxing.
It feels good.
PLUS, the girls are starting to pick up finger foods so it feels like we really are moving in a direction where things are just getting easier and easier.
My grandpa, who raised three of his own looks at me every time he sees me and says “Karin, these are the best days of your life… you may not know that right now, but believe me that they are.”
Twins have been hard, being a mom has been hard lately. But I’m ready to start believing that he’s right.
Until next time,